Cities all across the city show movies in various parks over the course of summer. Chicago will show 170 movies in various parks from June to November. Here are some awesomely bad ass movies that unfortunatley won’t be shown in any parks in the near future.
While arguably one of the greatest gangster movies of all time, it’s not the most family friendly choice. While you could argue it does teach core family values by citing biblical passages, the outcome for failing to adhere to those values will probably make you a dead motherfucker.
Some may appreciate the movie for the literary allegory to Heart of Darkness. Others may find a new appreciation for historical fiction. But one thing is certain. Once all the kids in the audience see all the lopped off heads and the sacrificed calf you’ll be screaming, “The whore, the whore!”
Sure the theme of the movie is one of hope and perseverence. But that only really comes in the last fifteen minutes. Before that you have to sit through sodomy, suicide, and a man climbing around in other criminals’ shit. If you don’t leave the park and walk into traffic due to a sudden onset of depression then you’ll love the payoff.
Who doesn’t love a movie chocked full of dick and fart jokes? It’s a great preparation film for our future college dropouts. Sadly, parents may object to nude women bathed in KY, or Will Ferrell toting around a blowup sex doll. Kids have to learn sometime, right?
Remember the good old days when we still tried to pass soft core movies off as art? How about when Mickey Rourke didn’t look like he was hit by a semi and Kim Bassinger wasn’t run ragged by crazy Alec Baldwin? What way to heat up summer than with two formerly beautiful stars boning like bunnies?
