Let’s face it. The economy blows. Almost one in every ten people in the country are out of work. People have to think outside the box if they want to get a job in such an ultra competitve market. Here are some jobs you shouldn’t rule out when thinking about trying to find employment.
Homicide Detective:
Sure it sounds a bit gritty and intense but where else do you get to act like a true superhero? And while industries all over the country are shrinking there are no shortage of people getting killed in these United States. In Chicago there were 11 people killed over the Fourth of July weekend. Plus if the life of a detective is even a fraction of exciting as that of Jimmy McNulty from The Wire then you, my friend, are in for a sweet life:
Black Market Organ Dealer:
Sometimes desperate times calls for you to get a little crafty and a bit extra-legal in your business practices. If you can justify the fact that some people only deserve one kdiney then you can get into the racket of dealing organs. The perk about the job is that it generally takes you to exotic locales like Bangkok, Thailand or Bismark, North Dakota. You have to travel where the clients are.
Unfathomable Celebrity:
It seems that every time you turn on the television there’s a new hot name making headlines. Do you ever think that could be you? Well it could be if you play your cards right. All those idiots had to start from somewhere. Tara Reid was Jersey trash before she became a member of Paris Hilton’s drunk whore entourage. True you either have to be able to work out all the time or find the money to have a lot of work done (are you above selling a kidney?), but the payout is awesome. You get paid to say awful, asinine things just like Heidi and Spencer.
Pitchman:
There seems to be an opening in the business since Billy Mays is dead the ShamWow guy was arrested for beating the crap out of a hooker. If you can scream at a decibel that will shatter a glass or you have a voice that never got you laid in high school then this could be your dream job. But wait, there’s more! You don’t even need to have a product ready all you have to do is be able to act like a complete jackass so that other people don’t respect you but want a convenient product – but only if you double their order. The product doesn’t even have to be good for you to make money. Just look at these:
It might take some looking but with a little ingenuity there are an infinite amount of ways to make some money. And if all else fails you can sell a kidney.
